dear god, are you there? its me.

Im praying to a God I dont believe in.



Why arent you ever heere to help me? Honestly, how am I suppose to keep going and believe in you if you dont give me reason, or more importantly, faith? Im falling, but your dangling a rope in front of me. However, that rope is turning into string. So tell me, what happens when that thin piece of string rips in two? Im having trouble believing in you, God. I use to believe that you only gave us problems you thought we were strong enough to handle. But I feel so weak. I feel all shaky, and Im losing the energy to keep going. And its not that everything keeps going wrong, its just that I feel empty. Ive never felt so hollow before. Ive never felt so alone. Ive felt this depressed before, but never so alone while dealing with it.
Why cant I feel you? Why wont you let me know youre here for me? Im starting to think youre not. That you wont be anymore.

I need help. I dont want it, but I need it. I need faith, I want faith. I need love. I need hope. I need happiness.

I dont deserrve any of that, but I need it.

Please God, if you really care, if you really love me...please help me.